我是在讀怎樣的一本書,有時在metro給別人看到書的封面,蠻不好意思,立即放平,我不能說我認同或喜歡她,但她讓我看到一個不同的世界,同樣是關於自己綿長的呢喃,她是多麼坦白矛盾直接露骨敢言,對自己坦誠其實最困難,又,書寫究竟是使自身更立體或模糊,書寫給予女人的自由和力量,文學,intimacy,愛與性,很多頁被摺角,很多啟發,以下是今天讀到的幾段節錄:
Allendy說: Yes, and until you can act perfectly naturally, according to your own nature, you will never be happy, the femme fatale arouses men's passions, exasperates them, torments them, and they want to possess her, even to kill her, but they do not love her profoundly... (我總是那麼那麼那麼恨自己不是femme fatale的材料!)
同樣是Allendy說的: Try to understand that in all relationships there is dependency. Don't be afraid of dependency. It is the same with the question of domination. Don't try to tip the scales. The man must be the aggressor in the sexual act. Afterwards he can become like a child and depend on the woman and need her like a mother... (man like a child,這個,我是瞭解的,啊,從前從前...將來還會有另一個男(或女)need me like a mother嗎?)
Anais: I thought bitterly of June's magnificent willfulness, initiative, tyranny. I thought, it isn't strong women who make men weak, but weak men who make women overstrong. I stood before Henry with the submissiveness of a Latin woman, ready to be overwhelmed. He has let me overwhelm him...(多麼對!)
還有一段我讀一次笑一次,笑了整整五分鐘:
話說Anais收到Henry的信,寫著:
'When you return I am going to give you one literary fuck fest -- that means fucking and talking and talking and fucking. Anais, I am going to open your very groins. God forgive me if this letter is ever opened by mistake. I can't help it. I want you. I love you. You are food and drink to me....'
L-I-T-E-R-A-R-Y F-U-C-K F-E-S-T! 嘩,多麼令人嚮往,聽聽都興奮,試問那個女人還能抵抗?究竟是passion還是地獄,lust或者是indulgence,一生一次的放縱,不是每個人都放任得起,或有那機會吧?做不成femme fatale,讀下都好。又,猜我是在對的時刻拾起此書,就算早數月,很多位都不會明白/有共鳴,後來還買了他們厚厚的一本書信,但是寄船,睇怕一個月後才有得看。
再又,最近不約而同地有人問我幾時出書/為什麼不自己出本書?天,為什麼會給你們錯覺呢?我根本沒有資格想都沒想,寫得爛又沒好題材文筆差一百樣缺點,怎麼會敢?我不懂得寫,我只是會去寫而已,而且出左都無人看,出來幹嗎?自知之明,還幸,是有的(笑)。
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