有時給自己的倔強弄得啼笑皆非,是怎麼叫我不肯認輸?暖屋派對的所有準備,一屋油漆,書桌書架裝合,甚至鑽牆上窗簾層架都死要一手包辦。剛剛有一個洞,鑽來鑽去鑽不進,明知手臂力不夠,爬高發力要跌倒,死撐,真不行便聽聽音樂鑽點別的輕易的再進攻,三番四次嘗試,終於順利的推進,那一下真的好爽,鐵柱磨成針令我情不自禁要認個叻。這個地盤look,是要趕客的吧,女仔人家口裡含住三口釘手執電鑽照著說明書調來調去研究,手臂油漆三天都洗不淨人見人問是不是紋身,爛牛皮靴也是色彩斑斑,想作女生狀是沒功夫沒時間,好在男友不介意我毫不溫柔。一路掙扎下來,女生懂得我要懂,漸漸連男生做的都要懂得,是鑽得好衰歪來歪去三兩年後或會整個架跌下來(家中的真人真事)(笑),有時鑽壞了只得貼個東西檔檔,揹東西揹得背都壞了整天像有針桔,但知道自己靠得住自己,感覺非常良好,然後知道有個人在危急關頭可給依賴,感覺更佳。
上次獨個上酒吧感覺奇異,因為竟也覺得自己慢慢成為如此獨立的人,懂得如何哄自己開心,瞭解自己需要些甚麼,喜歡,並寧願怎樣花時間跟自己相處。這次鑽牆又有收獲,內在倔強的素質原來一路伴隨,任性衝動隨著年月發酵,終於有能力想做便去做,後果自己承擔得幾多便幾多,沿路慢慢走,成就一直的想望,也只有自己吧,只有自己而已,負起生活的責任,成就想望。
在偌大的床上醒來,跟喜歡的人一起在顏色配搭得怪怪的房間給冬日的陽光照暖,環顧一屋努力弄的卻東歪西倒彷像求求其其的成果,2008來到了,這個開始很完滿,因為於前一夜跟友好渡過了瘋狂歡樂的一夜,而翌日我們都同樣渴望時間能停頓下來,你知道,有人跟我想的一樣,但親愛的,未來的時光或會更加美好,所以讓我們充滿期待吧,並充實地填滿來年的每一天。
這是我於20081月1號的鑽牆有感,希望大家新年快樂,身體健康 =)
2 則留言:
had been looking forward to meeting again ever since the first time, but i dont mean to try hard and befriend you, nor am i repenting (!), its just... a crazy anticipation of my own - perhaps you could have even called it an obsession. (dont ask)
it did sting a little at the time, but coming to think about it, it was much better than the slaps across my face i should have been expecting. *grin* and certainly impressed by such directness, all the more reason to like you.
take as much or as little notice of what i write, the praises are genuine, as are the other comments that perhaps need more forgiveness. tho - recent entries do seem constantly love-related.. *blush* and - neither you nor i should be held responsible for the rumours, those who created them will be kicking themselves soon enough.
seems like a while since he's last hung out with you lot, rare to see him enjoying himself like so, despite he's refusal in costume participation~ sighs. -by the way, nice house and rather envious of your bedside lamp! -no worries tho, i shant be taking that.
anyhow, thanks for both coming and the invitation, a beautiful start to the new year, enjoy the chairs and may 2008 be a smoother sail for both of us~
下次獨個兒去酒吧呢，記住叫我
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