星期一, 11月 26, 2007

真的,謝謝你以唱去回我的信

這些時光一個女子的一生能有幾多?
令人手足無措的太多太好太快,實在太瘋狂,
以往的經歷叫我知道眼前究竟是怎樣不可多得,
未開始已經不捨,想像到失去以後,快樂不其然連帶著酸楚。不敢再問為什麼,就算不明白為何是我,只想輕鬆,將當下抓得非常緊,每一分每一秒,用盡所有毛孔細胞去感受,然後將所有感覺謹記在腦海。如果只是因為幸運,就好好享受這幸運好了,將風流窮盡,無悔。以為不會再瘋狂,原來事情真的發生時,不可收拾一如以往。天知道,曾有多痛便讓我有多心酸,因為太珍惜,因為不再是一張白紙以為一切均理所當然,這些良辰甚至使人害怕,請不要太美好吧,到時又要拿甚麼去歸還呢?瘋狂是,如果要再一次的痛去換,或者亦都甘願吧,這些時光實在是美好得過份,不能不去不安,側疑自己究竟有甚麼能耐去消受。
我的所有,或者只有全心全意,我希望能學習慢下來,不再渴求火花,慢慢的,甚麼都不問,只要靜好,就夠了。

或者最終只有這首曲會留下來,我也別無其他所求,親愛的,謝謝這些良辰,謝謝所有美景,謝謝你讓我知道我還能夠,親愛的。

8 則留言:

iris 說...

當然你還能夠 my dear =) 我們都還能夠,你知道嗎,我自己也看透了,不接受失去,或得不到,是不能夠擁有的,我會學習的。很高興你很快樂 =)

oxfam 說...

偶爾看到你的blog,只感到你對他有莫名的迷戀,都因為你從未把這人看得透徹,這也是種福氣,痛,總好過活得空洞,微爛…放輕點,可能會更好或更差,因為事情是兩面的。

sheungyee 說...

嘩好驚!oxfam認識我的男友嗎?他不又是有n個前度吧,而且都跑出要警告我,誰又想要騙我,是不是我太好騙了,想死。(而且男友是不是挑個隱陣安全的最保險呢唉)
對男/女友不迷戀對我是不可能的,往往不能自救,那不如乾脆率性點,敢去愛,不迷戀大概也稱不上是戀愛,也沒必要一起生活。
我們究竟怎樣才能把一個人看透徹呢?看透徹了是不是就完全知道有那幾道板斧?自己隱在安全島上小心翼翼保證這個人不會令我受傷,不付出太多那麼我不會大太傷。有時甚至連自己都不太懂,曾經以為非常明白的人,也可以令你摸不著頭腦。
人我不能明瞭,反而關係我是張望得頂透徹了,知道開始有時,終結有時,結合了也能分開,那麼悲觀,難不成又都放棄了圖個清靜。
一個人要存心欺騙我,真是一點辦法都沒有,我知道的,或者是有多敢去快樂就有可能多痛,而我覺得這個tradeoff算公平,事情既然可以是更好也可以是更壞,不如先好好享受了。

好長的回覆,看得出其實我是非常害怕,也在學習放輕腳步,已經寫得好subtle,仍然給人大唔透盲中中極度迷戀之感?!唉呀我,是不是白白做人了?

oxfam是認識的嗎?你認識他嗎?

Jing 說...

There are whispers in the air
There are things that they don't dare
The eyes of heart is just and fair
The fruit of love's for those who care

Love and be Loved in return.
Passion is for those with no concern.
Lust is a second of flesh to burn
But wait -
Time is proof and you will learn
to tell love from lust and what bodies yearn.

kay 說...

Oxfam, don't attempt to type in chinese if you can't write it properly,
if you want to say "微爛", what you wrote means a little bit broken?
but judging from what you have been writing, you might mean decadent, " 靡爛"

I dont' think anyone knows THE BOYFRIEND better than I do. he is my brother who I have known for 26 years of my life. and perhaps, apart from God, I know him best.

he is definitely a great boyfriend, a great and loyal lover. he never lies. so if that is what Oxfam is trying to say, then I can say it is 100% wrong.

把這人看得透徹, can only done with time. it is possible that what you see now isn't what he is, but this is how love is about, discovering more about a person everyday. let time tell.

All i can say is, he, the boyfriend and my brother,
has the kindest of hearts, will never do anything to hurt anyone.

so, stop your nonsense, now. and mind your own business.

sheungyee 說...

well oxfam,
thx for providing me the chance to know him better. It makes me realize how different they are. What one did don't necessarily apply to the rest, I guess by the comment he left something is proven already =). Yes maybe I always am too blinded by love n risk hurting myself so likely. I still wish to know him better coz' he's a man full of wonder and surprise.

Like what Kay've said, love's about taking time to discover a person, wish that u can be positive too when u r in love, coz' its just too upset to mistrust ur lover, isn't it?

Hey Kay,
未跟你認識反而要你站出來說話,不好意思!靖有這麼好的家姐完全是壞不出樣吧(笑),我是不擔心的,如若我有輕微的懷疑也只因經歷過非常壞的經驗,你的說話給予我信心,謝謝你呀。

oxfam 說...

hey everyone,
首先,我要在這裡作出道歉,這些風波,但又有點好笑,因只是一個誤會,我沒有惡意的。請了解,我偶爾看到的是2005年的blog,我發表的都只是對當時她的他,然而誤作了當今男友的意見…sheungyee,你好幸運,因為當年的那位已經過時了,我沒你好運,因為我曾經有一段跟你相似的關係,而影響至今,至於錯字嘛,都證明了我只是一個糊塗的人。誠心祝福你們至及你的好友。

sheungyee 說...

oxfam,

無事嘞!(笑)我們做朋友吧,聽到你跟我有相似的關係,能想像有多慘,但不要放棄相信,因為最終會有人懂得的,多謝你的祝福,也祝福你 =)